people on the net calls me lunna while people i truly know knows me as mariana dewi rachmawati. got into this world 17 years ago on february march 29. had spent a year abroad as an exchange student, now i'm back home in bontang, east borneo, indonesia. as a phlegmatic-sanguine, i get excited very easily but then i get bored after a while. i pretty much a happy-go-lucky person, but i can be a big dreamer sometimes. i love to be inspired and inspiring. i'm living life and loving it. x) i realized that my habit trying to please everybody won't work in REAL WORLD. yes i need to speak up for myself. -____-" anyways. you can find me on friendster and facebook.

take the sat and toefl, preparing for the scholarship and university stuff. i really need to study and stop procrastinating! oh jeez! and i'm getting my Confirmation Sacrament in november. wheee! i'm so excited! x) get a job like teaching middle schoolers english sounds pretty cool. being a radio host would be awesome too, though. or maybe work in a clothing store. x) last but not least, i still do think that i need to lose some weight. LOL

get the scholarship i wanted and graduate from high school with awesome grades are two of the most important things. and i wish to made my parents proud of me and stop bugging them for money. LOL i wanna have the opportunity to have a job and live around the world like an ambassador or something. being a freelance writer is also one of my deepest desire. i'd also like to learn languages and psychology. ahh. if only i could do tons of things at once! :] and yes i wish to be a 17-year-old for the rest of my life, that maybe edward cullen were real and turned me into a vampire. ROFL

sara bareilles - city
paramore - crushcrushcrush
disturbed - inside the fire
cascada - everytime we touch
rihanna - take a bow
nickelback - savin' me
mika - lollipop

amanda
avoo
cc icha
cc putry
cyclers
conspiracy
desska
diaz
dhimas
dimas dhea'
donat
etta
fasci
firman
fragaria
gadis
galuh
ghina
heru
ikings94
ipang
julliet
kk ulie
karina c
kiki
lhiia
lya
lyan ayu
lyne
mel
mitha
naras
nurind
poetry
sachroel
sammy
sapibunting
sasko
sha
sippa
synna
tanti
tiwi
uthe
vaiionz
vee
violinista
windha
zha
zhenn

July 2008
August 2008
September 2008

designer   DancingSheep
brushes   + +

well hi there.
i really have no idea why i'm writing this right now.
am just too bored and tired to answer all those stinkin toefl questions--even though i only did it for like 30 mins or so.
but well. i don't know! i just wanna bury myself alive right now!
for some odd reason i'm not in a very good mood tonight.
and i think my cholesterol has been raised up again cause i've always been so sleepy lately. *yes i DO have cholesterol. unhappy?*
the hospital people told me to exercise regularly and be on low fat diet, which i haven't done at all since like forever.
but instead of being on a right diet, i've been on a very unhealthy diet.
and if this is continued i'm gonna be gaining weight soon. oh jeez. :p
gotta fix this soon enough and stop that before it happening! lol
anyways. i went swimming this afternoon, but i guess it didn't effect anything. xp
argh. i'm so stressed out! for no certain reason.
i'm just feel like there's this really heavy thingy on both of my shoulders and i can't get it off.
and i sometimes feel lost cause i don't really have nobody to be around like i used to had before.
i miss my best friends. i really really do. :(

sometimes i wish not to come back here to bontang anymore.
if only things could go my way! urgh. *this is one problem that i haven't figured the reason out to be happening. yet. =\*
maybe i'll have a better opportunity if my mom just send me to an international school somewhere.. like i wish, but apparently no.
she wouldn't let me of course, like i had had guessed before.
it's too expensive and if you think about it.. it's only a year left before i graduate from high school. isn't that a kinda waste of money?
well. my mom knows best. *at least i'm trying to see the bright side of it and cheer myself up. lol*

ah. the school people finally told me that i HAVE TO do all the final test for last year.
which means that i'm gonna be studying for it.
i don't know when i'm gonna take those tests but well my sociology teacher that i've been talking about it with said that it might be better if i do it asap.
i agree with him, but then i'm thinking that maybe my hair's gonna be falling off soon and i'm gonna be bald just like my dad and larry. LOL kidding!! i hope not. it's not gonna be funny that i'm bald because of studying, shows how nerdy i am. ;p

mmmm. i've been trying to fast this week.
what i can tell you is i'm really no good in fasting! lol
water has always been my down fall cause i really can't stand the thirst.
and like what tharii said to me on the chat room, if we only count on the 'not eating' we're certainly not gonna make it.
and that's what i realized. since i'm a catholic then i feel like i don't gave responsibilities to fast through the day.
well i feel kinda bad about it, cause um. my sister and my dad are moslems and i was like all spirited and stuff about this whole fasting stuff and then i drink every time i got home from school.
sorry guys! it's not that i don't appreciate you or something.
but um. at least i can make it through the afternoon. lol
the thing is i'm gonna try and try again until i can make it. i promise.
cause when easter time comes i definitely will have to fast anyway.
sooooooooo. this would be a good practice to do it. :)

well i guess that's it for tonight.
i just wanna share some stuff with you that has been bugging my head.
i hope you guys have a good night.
bye bye bye! :D

hi guys! :D how have you been doing?
as i told you i've been busied with school lately.
and as tumpengan was over, those school competitions was over as well! lol
guess what, guess what! WE WON THE 3RD PLACE FOR GERAK JALAN!
not bad at all, right? :)
and we're the only social class from all the winners, whose all science classes.
so when they told us to come up to the stage, all of our homeroom members came up and yelled "IPS! IPS!" over and oven again. some of people were also yelling supporting us.
i'm so proud to be a social class member. really i do. :)
even though we didn't win on tumpengan, well it really doesn't matter.
it's pretty amazing that our efforts on gerak jalan was valued. lol
sorry that i've been such a b***h guys, but hey! it's all worth it. :p

anyways. i'm taking the toefl test this 21.
and the sat on 4 of september. i'm soooo nervous!
please cross your fingers for me guys! >_<

ummmm. anyways. like the title, there's some things that makes me think about that quote lately.
i can't tell you what exactly it is cause it came from a conversation between me and bagas, but the thing is.. we may not realize it until we can sit down for a while and think about it. :)
like what i experienced while i was still in states.
there are LOTS of things happened that just made me broke down and cried.
i questioned what's the point of all those that happened, and well. um. i kinda blamed God for all the bad things.
i know i was wrong for blaming God, and i feel bad each time i think about it.
and after i think, think, and think about it, i realized that He just made me learned my lesson.
i really liked one of my friends when i was in states and i was sooo greatful that one person asked me to go to prom with him.
he was so kind and bla bla bla until after prom he started to made such a distance from me.
since i liked him, it bothered me so freakin much!
lately i found out that he was a jerk and all that crap. lol

we may feel very sad and angry when thing's not going the way we want it.
but always believe that everything happens for a reason. and things are always gonna be better in time. :)
so just keep moving and face this world! life's never gonna be too easy, and believe it or not, sometimes we need to be stressed out so we keep challenging ourselves.
our life would be soooooooooooooooooo boring without dramas.
don't take it too hard, but don't be too easy about it either.
keep it balance! =]

oh yeaa. i got this from zhenn. :)



rulesnya :

1. Anda harus memilih 5 orang blogger yang menurut penilaian Anda berhak mendapatkan award ini berdasarkan kreatifitas, desain, tulisan-tulisannya yang menarik, dan juga sumbangannya bagi komunitas blogger, tanpa dibatasi oleh bahasa yang mereka pergunakan pada blog-nya.
2. Cantumkan nama-nama blogger yang diberikan award ini beserta link ke blog mereka.
3. Penerima award harus mencantumkan nama dan link dari blogger yang memberikan award kepada mereka.
4. Tolong cantumkan juga link ke the "Arte Y Pico" blog sehingga dapat diketahui darimana asal mula award ini.

jadi ini dia para bloggers yang beruntung :)
1. julliet
2. avooo
3. sinchan
4. uthe

by the way..

HAPPY FASTING MONTH GUYS!
hopefully you can get through this month well and um. diterima amal ibadahnya. lol

sooo. how are you guys doing? =]
i'm good, if somebody asks me back. *and apparently nobody does. lol*
i've been busied with some school competitions as i told you.
and um. that gerak jalan competition went really well.
and i can tell you guys this;

I'M SO PROUD TO BE A PART OF 3 SOCIAL 2.
and even if we didn't win WE DID OUR BEST. x)
and i hope it's gonna be worth it.
some people may underestimate us, but hey, those pathetic people are just jealous of us. LOL
don't ever let them tear you down and take your soul. *this goes to everyone. =]*
go ROSO go ROSO go! *ROSO is an abbreviation of rolas ips loro which is 3 social 2 in javanese. xD*

and here's some pictures of us;





we were dressed up with some indonesian traditional clothes as you all can see.
and um. gatot kaca and srikandi *characters in indonesian legend fyi* were somewhere over there, as our mascot. :)
i was the girl with the pink shawl and piggy banks. hahah!

it was very hilarious on the x day last saturday.
we were late and it was raining. not pouring rain, but still raining!
well i guess it's better though than sunny. cause you really won't like bontang's sun. it's like the evilest nature thingy in the world!
but anyways. we started in vidatra elementary school and ended in the town square.
it was like.. 1 or 2 kilometres i can say. it's not that far though. =\
and we were both singing and yelling at each other all the entire way.
everybody was soooo tired preparing for it the entire week and we were not in a very good mood so it's very easy to get us mad.
and yes, one of us got really mad and he started cursing to us just because we didn't wanna sing.
we truly understand that he just wanted to show all people that we're good enough to win but cursing is not a solution.
some of us didn't sing because we didn't wanna lose our voice--our voice were kinda husky and besides there were no juries anywhere!
but that was a good thing that he didn't just loose control and started to ruin everything. =]

we performed our homeroom yel-yel *theme song* on all the performances.
our first one was boring i guess. we were late to come. we were not that ready. we were still in panic and we were like all over the place.
but it wasn't as horrible as our second show. lol
nobody thought that we would need to do that second performance, so we were just like.. oh gosh. awkward.
we were like shocked and kinda didn't know what to do.
especially evan our leader had to switch place with hanung cause apparently he lost his voice.
and we were just like some little chickens, all over the place looking for their mother. lol
but our final show was GREAT! all of the sudden we just got together and so cooperative. it was amazing.
we sang our yel-yel continued with indonesia tanah air beta that we didn't sing in any of our performances before.
i think everybody got very emotional listening to us singing and some women just started crying. it was very touching. x)~
and after that.. we were just sooooooooooooooooooooooo satisfied that gerak jalan competition was finally over!
WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! lol
i really can't wait for tumpengan. it's only 2 weeks from now, guys! woot woot!
oh yeah i'm really excited!
they say it has to be about sports, but we haven't thought about anything.
suggestions are highly appreciated. lol

oh, and there's this one interesting moment happened when we were practicing our yel-yel.
we were dancing and singing outside my friend's house and all of the sudden there's this one lady standing on our right side, smiling and looking at us.
it felt really awkward, but then when we're done she came up to us and said;

looking at you guys doing stuff like this, i feel like i just wanna turn back time to whenever i was your age

aaaaaaaaaaawwwwww. wasn't it sweet? :)
i mean i thought about what she said and i was like.. speechless.
sometimes i feel like it's really ironic.
before i'm 17 years old, i always wanna grow older. but now i finally got 17, i wanna stay young forever!
i agree with kenny chesney in one of his songs; don't blink.
in that one song he's trying to say that time runs really fast. it's just gonna go by if you're wasting it and not making the best of it. you can never turn it back, so carpe diem!
jeez. i feel so old talking like that tough! =p

anyways. sinchan, one of my besties just left the town this morning to jakarta. x(
it's kinda sad to have her leaving. but since i left her too last year, i guess this is a kinda payback. lol
and i still believe in her. cause even though we were apart for a year last time, we were still best friends and she didn't turn her back on me.
i love her to death. x)
here some pictures of us. as narcissists. lol






but don't worry sinchan, we'll meet again this november!
then we'll go all around jakarta in one day! lol
good luck in everything chan!
i'm sure you'll get what you want if you put your mind to it.
*that should be me. =p*
i love you no matter what though!
be strong, God bless you!

by the way, i'll see you guys later! =]

hi guys! how have u been doing lately? x)
well. it's been a while since my last post eh?
i've been busied with school stuff and crappy things these days.
PHEWW!
we have a gerak jalan competition coming up and also tumpengan.
those require a lot of money to tell you the truth.
but hey, we're seniors now! so we decided to give our best this year--as we're not gonna experience it anymore next year.
but hey, i've never really experienced tumpengan before. =\
so um. those competitions are held by our school, sma vidatra.
all the students gotta participate for their classes, from grade 10 to 12.
i wasn't here in town whenever i was a 10 grader and i wasn't here at all for the whole 11 grade. LOL
sooooo. i just realized that this is my first and last tumpengan! woohooo! xD
should i be excited? well. i'm already excited anyway.

anyways. i told you guys that i've been thinking of something lately.
to be honest, i really don't know. =\
well it's been a while since i thought about it that i completely forgot about it!
LOL yes, shoot me. =p so i'm sorry.
*i say that just like you've been waiting for me all this time. xp*

oh. we were practicing our gerak jalan technique last night.
we were horrible, but i'm sure we can work it out. let's go, peeps!! :D
what we need the most is trust and cooperation.
but yes, we do need more practice.
so don't give up! we still have 7 days left before the x day!
woot wooot!
and pleeeeeeeeeeeeease please please speak up if you're not feeling good on some kind of hard activity.
this one girl in my class had an asthma when we were walking and she's like having a seizure and it was awful!
i mean c'mon, what was she afraid of? it'll be more scary to have her on the bed lie dying than to speak up right? =\

anyways. well i guess that's it for now.
idk what else to tell you.
there's nothing fun coming up!
enggal was back in town for a while, but him and untung had already gone back to malang.
there's none of my senior here anymore and it bores me to death!
sinchan's gonna go to jakarta this 20 and uthe's not gonna come home until november.
oh jeez! i wish somebody would act the same way like the way she did before! =[
but life goes on. and i gotta keep moving on.
and i still have a lot of stuff to do and my act to put together. UGH!
same as jeremee, i'm not that excited to be a senior. -_________-"
but i'm waiting for the right time for something to be beautiful. LOL

i just got this from fragaria.
and these are the rules;
1) Put the logo on your blog.
2) Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4) Add links to those blogs on yours.
5) Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

soooo. i guess here go the blogs that i chose;
.::. aavo.
.::. zhenn.
.::. cc icha.
.::. etta-chan.
.::. uthe.

i can only give you five people.
at least for now. =\

anyways.. i've been thinking about something lately.
i will post it in my next post.
cause now i gotta go and finish my geography homework.
yes i need to be a GEEK! xp
just for this one school year, of course. lol

have you ever had a bff?
i'm sure you all have. well. or should've. =]
anyways, let's just say you do have a bff. and she or he is like the cheese on your macaroni.
but what if at some point you have to leave your bff cause u gotta move somewhere far away for a while?
and when you come back at where you were before, your bff already got another friends that might be more fun or whatever than you.
then she/he just kinda leave you or step back like she/he never knew you before!
what will you do or how will you react?

in my case, i tried to talk to my bff. i asked her if there's something wrong..
i mean if she thinks her friends a lot more fun than me or maybe she thinks now i really changed in some ways she doesn't like..
the point is, i wanna know if she still wanna be my bff or not.
she's like all quiet and she said, 'aku sungkan ama kamu, wii..'
and i was just like.. all quiet. and looking at her.
i understand that she may feels a little bit awkward since i just got back from somewhere far away and sh*t, but i mean c'mon!
we've been bff since we were in 3rd grade, it's been 7 years til now!
did it leave nothing at all? all the things that we went through together for all those stinkin years?

i do miss my host family, friends, teachers and even richmond, but hey, that never means that i don't miss all these people back here.
i'm trying to adjust myself back to indonesia and it's really hard, even though it's suppose to be my own home.
i'm trying to talk to all these people at home again, trying to figure out what's hip today and happening so i don't just stare at them and understand nothing at all when they talk to me.
and i'm studying harder than everybody else, cause i know they're one step ahead than me cause i lost what they've learned in 11th grade.
they even told me to fill my 11th grade report card up if i wanna go to university in indonesia, which i think is kinda stupid cause i didn't just have fun while i'm in the states! i went to school, you idiot school people! x(
and this bff issue adds some more weigh on my shoulders.

well i'm sorry that i missed a year of her life time to pursue my own dream.
sorry that i changed, but c'mon everybody also changed.
but blaming and punishing me this way really isn't fair at all!
i know she was busy moving to a new house, that's why i didn't wanna bug her with my calls and sh*t.
i tried to join her and all her friends, but she doesn't seem to care.
neither do her friends. =[
i sent her a letter cause i'm too scared to tell her all these things by myself, and i don't think she cares either. =\
i know that's a very lunatic of me to sent her that letter, but i really can't say anything cause she never even call me or come over to my house anymore like she usually does.
and she was always with her group of friends, so what can i do? =\
well what else she wants me to do? does she want me to forget all that f**kin years that we went through?
oh God. i just don't see all the 'better things' in that. really. =[

please don't see me like i'm all that great and sh*t, cause i don't think i am.
i'm just me, i'm just trying to be myself.
it sucks soooooooo bad when they call me all that, 'amrik, amrik!' and all that sh*t cause i mean please! don't make it sounds so great and stuff.

ugh. that bugged the living crap outta me for the whole vacation! =\
but now i can face it more easily.
well. i just do what she also does, just try not to care.
is there any suggestion?

i copied this like years ago from someone's blog *sorry i don't remember whose =p*
for some odd reason i always like to do this quiz, so i do it over and over again when i'm bored. like what i just felt a couple minutes ago. xD
well i guess no harm posting it here.
you can also do it if you want. =]
and i used slinky for this, fyi. *this is a very unimportant information xp*

----------------------------

RULES:
1.) Put your music player on shuffle
2.) Press forward for each question.
3.) Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4.) NO CHEATING!!!

1.) How am I feeling today?
rob thomas - ever the same

2.) Where will I get married?
avril lavigne - nobody's home

3.) What is my best friend’s theme song?
nickleback - photograph

4.) What is/was highschool like?
avenged sevenfold - reminescence

5.) What is the best thing about me?
danity kane - damage

6.) How is today going to be?
s club 7 - never had a dream come true

7.) What is in store for this weekend?
simon webbe - no worries

8.) What song describes my parents?
sean kingston - beatuful girls *lol whatever this suppose to mean. =p*

9.) How is my life going?
3 doors down - here without you. *who's 'you'? =\*

10.) What song will they play at my funeral?
green day - warning. =D

11.) How does the world see me?
madonna feat justin - 4 minutes. lol

12.) What do my friends really think of me?
smash mouth - all star.

13) Do people secretly lust after me?
aaron carter - do you remember.

14.) How can I make myself happy?
coco lee - reflection

15.) What should I do with my life?
christina aguilera - i turn to you

16.) Will I ever have children?
creed - one last breath. O______o"

17.) What is some good advice?
teddy geiger - 7 days without you

18.) What do I think my current theme song is?
green day - burn out.

19.) What does everyone else think my current life?
marion raven - in spite of me.

20.) What type of men/women do you like?
david cook - i don't wanna miss a thing.

21.) Will you get married?
goo goo dolls - better days. x)

22.) What should I do with my love life?
backstreet boys - larger than life.

23.) Where will you live?
goo goo dolls - broad way. WHOOOOOOOO!

24.) What will your dying words be?
mariah carey and whitney houston - when you believe.

--------------

anyway, this is just some random question.
what's your opinion towards gay and bisexual community?
i don't mean no harm at all by asking that, just doing a tiny research for my short story. =]
thanks!

Labels: bored, quizzie